There Will Be Weeping

There have been a lot of funerals here in the last 10 weeks. At last count, a couple of weeks ago there had been 15 since the middle of May. There have been at least 4 since then and 1 more yet this week. So I think it’s safe to say we’re over 20.

One constant thing I’ve noticed is that people don’t really cry. The funeral service and burial afterward are filled with very stoic people.

This week I learned something new. The morning of Monday’s funeral Pastor Mmanga and I attended a time of prayer at the home around 10 a.m. before they came to the church for the funeral. When we arrived at the home the people that were there to pay their respects were circling around the casket and crying.

Okay, not just crying, but weeping and wailing.

This was something like a room full of dog lovers who just watched “Old Yeller” or the more recent “Marlee and Me.” Seriously, I have never heard more audible sobbing at a movie theatre than when I went to “Marlee and Me,” but I digress.

Pastor got the microphone from the M.C. (yes they have M.C.’s at funerals) and tried to lead prayer and a hymn, but even with the loud speakers you could not hear him over the wailing that was taking place. I was standing right next to him and I couldn’t hear him.

There was wailing. There were women falling on their knees. There were women fainting. I am not exaggerating at all.

When we got in the car I asked pastor if this was a common occurrence, I told him that I hadn’t even seen crying before and now here were women falling all over themselves as well as the deceased. Then he laughed at me. It was that “you are so ignorant” laugh I talked about earlier this week. Apparently this is the common practice at the home in the morning before the funeral.

“People have to get all of their crying out of the way, so they are able to listen to the funeral sermon” he said.  So what I have learned is that they cry in the morning so they can pay attention in the afternoon. Interesting.

Then I asked, “It seemed like some of that crying and fainting was fake, do people pretend to cry?” (I couldn’t help it, I had to ask.)

He laughed again. “Yes” he said “if they don’t cry people will think that they didn’t like the person who died so even if they didn’t like the person they still have to cry.”

“So,” I said, “if it’s obvious that the crying and fainting is fake, then doesn’t everybody know anyway who didn’t like the person?”

With the Pastor Mmanga laugh I love so much he said, “yes of course.”

Seriously, I learn something new every single day.